hangovers.

i mean who likes hangovers? if you raised your hand please sit down….wait, what?

my birthday was a few days ago and my lovely fiancè took me out to a fancy dinner where we started out with champagne. a glass turned into a bottle which turned into a hilarious cab ride home and then ultimately landing us in a dive bar with lots of beer and dancing.
well… one, look at us! being young and stuff. this is very unlike us. we are homebodies that uhm…stay at home. and two, don’t all those shenanigans sound fun? it was but the next morning was hell. double hell. h-e- double hockey sticks. i’m pretty sure i thought i was dying.

other than the mere fact of being hungover, here are a few reasons why my hangovers are the worst!

ugh hangovers, i hate you…. a lot. 

{one} the worst morning breath imaginable. i dread waking up in the morning {as most mornings} but not because i don’t want to wake up but because this taste is disgusting! i don’t know how to explain it, thinking about it makes me gag. blegh!! sometimes i’ll wake up early just to brush my teeth and then get right back in bed.

{two} the awful, painful, stupid headache given by satan himself. i already have incredibly painful headaches but hangover headaches put me out all day rather than a few hours.

{three} showers are a lot of work when you’re hungover. this is usually how mine goes. or if i’m really hungover, i’m in a fetal position, laying in the tub. both are very effective.

{four} you wreak! gosh…alcohol permeates through every single pore on your body and it’s terrible. it doesn’t matter how many showers you take or how many times you brush your teeth, you will forever smell of booze. it’s like a full day walk of shame.

{five} any and all forms of light is like setting your eyes on fire.

{six} i want to eat everything that has grease, fat and salt. i don’t normally eat salty things but when i’m hungover…gimme!

{seven} if you need me i’ll be in bed all day. functionality is minimal and this is where i stay.

then i usually vow to never drink again and ask myself why? why do i do this to myself? why did i have to drink those last 2 beers? why did i mix alcohol? why am i a dummy? never again. never will i….

who am i kidding. planning a wedding is stressful, my job is hard and being a mom to a sassy 6 year old is tough work.

before people get their little panties in a twist, i never get sloshed in front of my daughter. so take it easy on the judge-y judy eyebrows. moms can drink, moms can still have fun and there is nothing wrong with that nor does it reflect on their parenting. but let’s not get me on that soap box 😉 

stay thirsty, my friends.

hope everyone is having a great sunday!

always,
-jess

all gifs via {www.giphy.com}

3 thoughts on “hangovers.

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